I've spent the past couple weeks mostly in a Funk. Part of it is due to the shi-tay weather, part is due to my jacked up sleep schedule, part is due to my frustration with and irate-ness at the stupidity that is The Bugg, part is due to my need-to-get-outta-town fever, and part is due to the fact I've been eating like crap and not working out.
Okay. Let's be honest.
Most of it is due to the fact I've been eating like crap and not working out.
Because if I had my way....I would be 100% peachykeen with sitting my happy keister on the couch. Period. Well, except for small forays to the kitchen to find other carb-heavy substances to ingest.
And while I know that this is a self-perpetuating cycle.....one that conspired with my mononucleosis-singed-thyroid to make me gain 100 pounds in the 10 years following high school graduation....it is hard to listen to that one teenytiny-voice of logic when all the others are chanting "grab the remote"...."grab the pillow"...."look. there's the puppy. he's already on the couch"...."just 5 minutes of Gilmore Girls..." et cetera.
I think a lot of it boils down to the fact I get hella-bored working out. Add to that the fact that I hate running and most especially hate anything that involves stairs.....(I have psychological issues that stem from drum major camp in high school where they made us run 2 miles every morning in those damned SW Oklahoma hills -- and then sent us back to the dorm where the elevator didn't work so we had to haul our butts up 4 flights of stairs. Knowing full well we were going to spend about 4.5 hours that afternoon doing high-step marching. Aiy yi yi!!).....and I'm left with walking on the treadmill as my cardio. (Which I do at a respectable clip....because I crank up the Reggaeton on Senor Ipod....but still.)
I'm well aware that I need to just accept the fact that I have to go work out...every blasted day....especially if I don't want to gain back all the damn weight I lost for AggieBoy's wedding. Gone are the days where I stayed in shape by the activity that was built into my day. (High school: marching band, athletics, bike riding, etc. College: walking my happy ass across the wide open prairie known as Texas Tech with the West Texas wind providing resistance-training.)
The irony of that is....all through high school and college I had a seriously-damn-screwed-up body image. I weighed maybe 125 when I graduated from high school....but I always felt HUGE next to my best friend. I wish somebody had explained ethnic heritage and body composition to me back then....life would've been maybe a smidge easier!!
I will say that my mindset is improving where my body image is concerned. True, the numbers whispered by the scale and the clothing tags are not always the smallest kids on the playground....but I feel better about myself than I have in a while....which is a major victory in and of itself.
December of 2005 was the turning point for me.
AggieBoy confided in me that MissErin was "The One"....and he was in the "browsing for rings" stage. That was hovering in the back of my little cabeza when I saw the pictures from Thanksgiving. My reaction to my image?
Awwww...hell no!! I abso-effin-lutely REFUSE to be The Fat Sister in the wedding pictures!!!
That sparked the beginning of the TrainerDude Experience....and painful as that was....even though I wasn't always the best at putting exercise as top priority, overall, I was pleased with the progress I made by the time I got to the wedding.
All that's gone to pot over the past month.
Now, I need to reconfigure my brain to get back in WorkOut Mode.....because I need to get busy trading in my carb-addiction for an endorphin-addiction.
If you have any suggestions for songs that will make my gym time a little more bearable...please, please....tell me what they are. I spent some time on Itunes browsing thru their dance/workout section....but nothing was jumping out at me.
Por favor y'all.....can ya help a sistah out???!!