I have been blessed with some incredible friends. Some of them I have met face to face and have known for yearrrrrrrs. Others I met only recently here in Blogland. Regardless, they have been an amazing source of support when I needed it. And for them...and their words and prayers of support...I am truly thankful.
You might have figured this out, but it's sometimes hard for me to reach out when I'm hurt. It's far, far, easier for me to reach out to someone when I need to vent frustration or anger. But when I'm hurt? Nuh-uh. No sirree, bob. Because I might cry and lose control, and how tragic would that be...
Last night I was smart enough to go ahead and get the cry out of the way. Trying to hold back was not making me feel any better....so I went for it. I have to say that, other than not being able to breathe through my nose when I was finished....life was much better. Much. (Of course, I didn't look in the mirror -- what am I? stupid? that would've sent me over the edge, for sure!)
I then took a long-damn nap. I woke up actually feeling better. So, I got up and visited with some people online, shuffled around some papers...and wrote my post.
Yeah. That's right. The incredibly maudlin entry last night was done AFTER the therapeutic ugly-cry AND a 2 1/2 hour nap. Holy cannoli, Batman.
When I finally went to bed (at 2 a.m.) I decided I'd take some of the advice I gave Fridayboy and write a letter to Buggy. That way, I could get all of my thoughts out of my head....and even if I decide not to send it...that was clearly the only way I was going to get to say my "piece" for the foreseeable future.
Because the next contact...be it in person, phone, text, etc....is going to have to come from him.
The combination of the uglycry, the nap, the cathartic writing here and in Buggy's letter, and my therapy sessions with my buddies made it possible for me to go to work this morning and not need to be in a straitjacket. Granted, by the end of the day, the sleep deficit was catching up on me....but overall I felt a helluva lot better.
It helps that I got an email from "The Boy"....who wrote me from vacation. :) After briefing me on his highly entertaining voyage through airport security....and on his plans for the week of R&R....he thanked me for sending my phone number and said he would call when he gets back in town. "....too much to say and too many questions to ask to continue the dialogue at 25 minutes per word...."
I'd say that's definitely promising, wouldn't you?
My heart is still bruised a little on the Buggy side....but it's starting to heal a little, thanks to the prospect of a new 'friendship'.....with a man.
To which I say: It's about damn time!!