Stubborn males are going to be the death of me.
Biggy'sAP, although he has abandoned the idea of Alternative School for BigBro, is still dead set on several days of Maximum Security ISS.
Biggy, although he desperately wants to finish his diploma, is still dead set on NOT going to Maximum Security ISS.
Now, I get that Biggy needs to be held responsible for his lack of impulse control where ImageAP is concerned. I am totally with that. 100 per cent. But, is it worth Biggy'sAP forcing his hand and seeing if he'll actually drop out rather than go to 'lock-up'?
Wouldn't it be a far better option to have him do several days of Minimum-Security after he has had to apologize to ImageAP for 'fronting her out' at lunch? If we're looking for a consequence that gets it across to him that he should NOT do this again....it's going to have to inflict a certain amount of pain.
I know those boys.
Saying "I'm sorry" does not come easy to them. In fact, they'd rather endure physical pain than have to swallow their pride.
At this point, I've exhausted all of my influence with Biggy'sAP. He's not budging on his sentence.
Of course, Biggy doesn't know this yet.
How's that, you ask?
He didn't come to school today.
Enter the 3rd party in this Soiree' of Stubbornness....Ms. H.
Biggy is going to meet me at my room at 7 in the morning. (I made him promise...knowing full well that he'd rather walk in front of a bus and mess up that oh-so-pretty face than break his word.)
At that point, I'm going to break it to him that he's looking at 3 days of Max-Security.
And then I'm going to employ every trick in the book to get him to agree to it. Although I fully hope that he'll succumb to my "you've come too far to let this knock you out of the race" Gipper speech, I wouldn't bet the farm on it....
it may take...
Encouragement - You have matured so much since I first met you...I know you can do this.
Flattery - Your teachers think you walk on water...they want their star student back in class.
Support - I'll meet you at Starbucks to get you caught up on your work.
Bribery - You go to schooljail for all 3 days...I'll finance a dinner out for you and your girlfriend.
and I'm going to roll in some Honesty for good measure:
"I have always regretted the fact that I gave up on you all those years ago. Right or wrong, I feel partly responsible for your dropping out. I know now that if I had just looked past your outward behavior, I would've seen that you were an incredibly-intelligent guy with an amazing heart...and if I had just pushed past your false bravado, I'd have been able to help you see the potential you had --as well as the person you already were.
"Although it was a painful lesson...it changed the way I teach. I have become very intentional about looking beneath the surface of the students who walk through my life. I've learned that a kid who tests me...who tries everything possible to make my life miserable so I'll kick them out of class....99% of the time really just needs somebody to get in the middle of their stuff and call them on their behavior. They need to be told, 'Whatever your issue is...whatever's causing you to be such a grande pain in the keister...it will not interfere with the learning in my classroom. Because I owe it to my students....all of my students -- especially you...to make sure that they get every minute's worth of learning they can. And I won't let anyone...especially you...get in the way of that learning. And, although it's what you desperately want, I'm definitely not going to kick you out of my class...you do me absolutely no good if you're in your AP's office or schooljail. I need you in class so I can get information into that head. But it will be under my rules...not yours. Comprende?
"You taught me that. And it has made the difference with so many students that I can't even begin to tell you. And I owe you big. So big I'm not sure I can ever repay you. I've tried......by reaching out to your brother when I saw him starting to make the same mistakes you had made....by helping him and Crazybrother with a myriad of things over the past year and a half...by trying to be the eyes and ears for your mom, so she won't have to worry if y'all are taking care of business while you're here....by planning my strategy to tutor the little guy so he can have a stronger foundation for junior high and high school than his bigs did...so that he won't have it near as rough as y'all did.
"As much as I've tried to pay it forward, I cannot tell you how thrilled I am that you came back to school. And although I am excited for you...I'm also elated that ...
I got my second chance with you.
In this life, we so rarely get second chances...that I'm going to fight for this one like I've never fought before. It's clear that your AP isn't going to back down...so we're just going to have to work around him. We'll play his game. We'll let him think he's won. But you and I will know he's only won this round. Because, from now until you graduate...you're going to be but a memory to him. He's going to sit in his office and think, "Hmmm. I wonder if BigBro is still enrolled here. I sure haven't seen him in my office." And then, he'll pull up your attendance...and it will be stellar. And he'll check your grades...and they'll be incredible. And then...he'll talk to your teachers...who will think he's crazy when he asks if they've had problems with you. Because you've become their favorite...the one that sets the tone in class. The academic, all-about-the-business, tone. And he'll have to go back to his office and count the days til he sees you again.
Which won't be until you cross the stage to shake his hand....with your diploma in the other hand.
That moment is how I will repay you for the change you've brought about in me. In my teaching. When you walk across that stage...I will feel a weight roll off my shoulders...for I will know that I didn't let you down a second time. That I didn't let you let yourself down a second time.
So here's where my stubbornness comes in, mijo. You're not going to rob me of my second chance...you're not going to get my hopes up like you have the past 5 weeks...only to crush them to dust. You think you're hardheaded? You think you're stubborn? Well, get ready, Mister...cause you've met your match...
...and she's going to be walking you to schooljail....immediamente!!"
~hasta